The lack of frequent sex in couples who are married or living together is a reality that occurs quite often. The common daily routine, fatigue after a long day of work or lack of desire is the main factors that contribute greatly to this situation. Should we resign ourselves to this sexual deficiency? Is it possible that a marriage or a common-law relationship to successfully survive the passage of months without having any intimacy?
U.S. National Health and Social Life Survey
According to a survey conducted by the U.S. National Health and Social Life Survey, 20% of marriages in the United States do not have sex, leading to a sum of 40 million people. The study, published in 2012 and reviewed in huffingtonpost.com, showed that 10% of the participants, who were 50-years-old or more, did not have sex in a year. The ones who were 40-years-old or so, had sex 58 times a year, while those individuals under 30 years of age had sex 111 times a year.
A Relationship Consists of Many Things, Not Only Sex
Against this background, how can this situation affect a relationship? When is it time to take action and talk about it? “Depending on the couple, sexual intimacy is necessary to have a successful relationship,” says Dr. Carmen Valcárcel, an expert in human sexuality.” However, in addition to sex, sexual intimacy includes fondling, kissing, and hugging. In other words, a relationship consists of more things than just ‘sex.’ According to this doctor, there are couples in successful relationships who have never had sexual intercourse.
Is It Possible to Have a Successful Marriage without Having Sex?
According to this doctor, yes, it is possible. “The bottom line is that if both are honest and sincerely agree to not have sex, a marriage can still be successful.” She notes that this type of situation may occur because one of them might have a physical condition or illness that prevents them from having sex. This may be temporary or permanent. But again, it must be by mutual agreement. It is important that there is an excellent communication, mutual respect, and openness to non-sexual intimacy in order to prevent a marriage from being ruined.
There are a lot of sexologists who recommend that a couple should have sex three or four times a week. There are even some who state that a couple should have sex only once or twice a week. However, a couple can have a successful relationship beyond this recommendation. It is up to how they feel. At the end of the day, everybody is different.
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